Nightmare

I had a nightmare last night/early this morning. I was on an airplane with my mother, where we were going, I don't know. The Guyanese people who live down the block from us and their friends were on the plane also. When the plane begins to take off they are still making their way to their seats. One of their friends had a boom box on his shoulder BLASTING music and I began to scream at him. Everyone on the plane was screaming at them to sit down, then the pilot of the plane came out. He told us that since they were in first class they could do whatever they wanted. Then he races to the front of coach and puts his head on the floor and notices that the floor is extremely cold. He says uh oh, and then I begin to panic. For some reason there was some temperature change and we were going to crash. Knowing this I called my father and sister at home. This is when it REALLY gets weird. I was talking to my father and sister, but I wasn't in the plane anymore. I was talking to them from the window of our old apartment. My father and sister were outside and it was snowing very hard. I was telling my father that I was sorry if I ever hurt him, and he looked at me with his "ah, shut up" face and waved his hand dismissing me. So I told him that I was serious, and then my sister came and I told her the same thing. Then I woke up. It was very scary.

9/11 really shook me as far as planes. I'm afraid of terrorists doing something, and just afraid of the plane crashing in general. My family was going to go on vacation and I was psyched to go then I realized we would have to take a plane, and I wasn't excited anymore.

I didn't go to the gym yesterday and most likely I won't be attending today. I'm really concerned about what I'm going to wear this weekend to work. I have a pants outfit, but I need something for Sunday. I think Monday is the day to start this "new" me...what's the point of starting now?

Why is it so difficult for me to just go out and do this?! I mean why? I've got a lot of things to think about because this isn't making sense. In order to change you must go out and do it, it's not going to happen automatically. I want to do this, but I'm to lazy to go out...go figure.