Function: verb
Inflected Form(s): hat·ed; hat·ingtransitive senses
1 : to feel extreme enmity toward
2 : to have a strong aversion to : find very distasteful
This feeling that I have toward my mother must be hate. When I think about her I want to scream/cry/punch a hole through the wall. Why do I feel this way? Well, last night I was telling my mother about someone who has done well academically. The person skipped a couple of grades as a young child, graduated at the top of class in high school, went on to an Ivy League university, and got a great job after graduating. My mother asks me how much time it took for this person to graduate college and I tell her four years, you know, the "normal" period of time. She then begins to make me feel lousy by saying that if that person could do that then why haven't I, that I'm wasting time, etc. My mother can also say a lot of things without actually saying it, if you know what I mean. I went to bed last night, very upset. I even had a dream that I beat her up, it felt so real.
I began college in 1999, and I'd say in between now and then I've taken breaks that have totalled to almost three years or six college semesters, of course I wouldn't have graduated at my normal graduation date of summer 2003. I've had a tough time since I started college, and I am also to blame for many of my problems, but making me feel like shit really isn't helping me.
So mother, FUCK YOU.
3 comments:
Hang in there.
College isn't for everybody. Does this make one a moron? No. There're a lot of dipshits walking around with several letters after their names. I work with some of them.
I went to college... and to risk the risk of sounding arrogant... I didn't really learn anything new or exciting. Nothing I didn't know already. Alas, my inquiring mind was left empty... unfulfilled.
I immersed myself in the rat race... in life. I travel to exotic and fun locales. Going where I want to go, living alone in my very own apartment, indulging my creative flights of fancy, having no dependents... all great feats to me.
You're still so young, and college is one of those options you can revisit at various intervals throughout your life, if you feel so inclined. You don't HAVE to be a certain age to complete college.
perhaps going to a school that's specific to what you want to do would help. An art or design school or something along those lines...
Good luck, whatever you do and hang in there.
You know what they say about 'Love & Hate'
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